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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 7, 2018 18:44:17 GMT -8
Florence held her hands there; she did not draw them away. But she still shook her head 'no' and seemed to frown at the implication.
"You cannot pause a responsibility; you either commit to it fully, and always, or you deny it in full and leave those that rely on you to thrive on their own-- which can be damaging." She watched his eyes.
"You must choose."
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 7, 2018 18:54:16 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
There was a somberness in the inkish pools of Lekalis' eyes, though they had steel, it was warm and malleable as he stood up and out of his chair, taking a step forward with her hands still clasped in his,
"You can always put down the scalpel, there is always a moment of respite... We both know this; we've both shared them already." The intensity in his eyes grew as, for a moment, he was standing over her.
"... Why must I choose?" He asked, his tone humbled as he took a knee beside her, leaning his shoulder against the table's corner as he squinted up at her now...
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 7, 2018 19:12:17 GMT -8
"Most immediately, for the good of your child. Children emulate the actions of their parents; how you treat your wife will reflect upon your child as an example of how he might treat his future wife, or how she will be expected to be treated by her husband. Additionally, it is important that the child has a sense of security and stability, that their situation remains constant while they change."
Florence turned to his direction and continued,
"However, as with anything, if you wish to do something well, you cannot do it half-way. Either you commit to your role, or you do not; one cannot choose both without performing both incompletely."
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 7, 2018 19:18:00 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
"What roles is it that I'm choosing from then..?" He asked a bit poignantly, likewise shifting so he faced her more frontally; he let his feet rest on either side of the chair as he listened expectantly from Florence.
While Lekalis looked to be genuinely listening, his eyes all but ensnared by Florence's own, his temples flexed and his ears occasionally rose as his jaw tensed in thought.
He was almost literally chewing on the decision, as he idly held Florence's hands between them, kneading between the bones soothingly, with emphatic practice.
\\
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 7, 2018 22:42:00 GMT -8
Florence looked upwards at him, standing in front of her like that.
The angle felt awkward on her neck and she began to have thoughts to stand, too; she was unsure of the purpose of standing.
She spoke on, regardless.
"You may choose to continue your ways as you know it, pursuing me in the process, or you may content yourself by resisting the urge to act on your emotions, and instead caring for your wife and child. You may not choose both."
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 8, 2018 7:06:15 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
With a disagreeing hum, he began to occasionally, gently, pull Florence's hands closer towards him. He wanted her sitting as he was, on the floor, though he nodded understandingly to her clarification.
"Those two options are not interlinked... I may pursue you still, while caring for Tilly and the child." He made his own clarification, then a brow rose in curiosity,
"Would you tell them if I go with you? What will you do..?"
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 8, 2018 7:27:32 GMT -8
Florence frowned at the proposition, folding her hands over her knees, now that she was facing away from the table.
"I refuse to support you in choosing both." She shook her head, again: one small motion to the left and to the right. "I will not support such recklessness. You must devote yourself to one only."
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 8, 2018 7:43:41 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
One Only, were the precise words he'd used for Tilly... And yet here he sat. Where was his mind? With a struggling sigh, his eyes danced over Florence's features, he could still call upon the memories they'd shared together. The first time he'd brought her to wine and steak after Lavinia had been sent to the Sanitarium... The small interruptions, when Lavinia'd come calling with a curious pigling in tow. When she'd first announced the Gunsche not-Doctor Cross, and the humbler times when she'd bared her stomach to show the singular scar on her olive skin.
He should have taken her then... So many times before, they'd lain in this room in the quiet. He'd thought those times would last forever.
Lekalis could feel tears behind his eyes, but he refused to let them show. He didn't want to impress desperation unto Florence, a need to be cured. He'd not known her for it, but he didn't want to inspire her pity.
Yet much had been revealed this night, and more still; she withheld her support. For both pursuits. It was curious, and proved to only raise more questions... He truly couldn't tell which she wanted. Her dutiful tellings had been straightforward as ever, she'd mentioned what he should do as a responsible Father.
Yet she'd yet to mention which she preferred herself.
As he stared into her eyes, he wondered if she felt the same tearing sensation as he did. Florence was typically a rational sort, the most logical pursuit when dividing wine to a party was to splay it evenly, of course. Though he supposed vaccines did not work unless wholly distributed... a surgery cannot be done half-way. A Doctor must always decide which patient needs her the most.
"I wasn't asking you to support my recklessness. I was asking what you will do if I choose you... If you'll speak of it to anyone."
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 8, 2018 8:41:08 GMT -8
"It would depend wholly on your actions. But I would not see a need to inform anyone." Florence answered, though she held another hand over both of Lekalis's. It was like administering a tonic.
She still wore a mask of neutrality.
"However, I would be disappointed to find that you chose to neglect your dependants."
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 8, 2018 8:50:29 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
With another heavy breath, he shut his eyes and stood up; giving Florence's hands one last squeeze before... They relaxed, despite both her hands being about his own, he assumed to slip them free for a moment. Though, they didn't travel far, as they slid up Florence's arm, his fingers curling around her elbows as he leant dangerously downwards, closer to the Crowgazer's face. Lekalis' eyes opened now, resolved.
"I've done much to disappoint you..." He pointed out with a small smile and cheeky half-shrug as he pressed his brow against hers, his hand slipping behind her back to the cloak on the chair; he pulled it free and forward from the woody back of the chair, and to the debatably less rigid back of Florence.
"... But not tonight, not in these quiet hours." Lekalis assured her as he stole a quick kiss from Florence's lips, as he curled his arms around her back, making to pull her up against him from the chair...
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 8, 2018 9:02:42 GMT -8
Florence's eyes widened-- not to any large degree, but a noticeable shift from her usual half-tired state.
Her arms tensed and she held them at her side, perplexed.
"What are you doing?"
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 8, 2018 9:10:05 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
"Choosing you." He said simply, though he slowed his motions as he held Florence in his arms, his brow pressed against hers; her eyes were wider, and confusion played in her eyes... He couldn't blame her. The thought had crossed his mind that she wouldn't approve, that she might not feel the same way; he'd exhausted his queries, exhausted himself in pursuing a definite answer.
Lekalis shut his eyes in regret, as he loosened his grip around her as he took a step back towards the bed, meaning to pull her with him slowly, gently...
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 8, 2018 9:44:44 GMT -8
"Have you learned nothing?"
Florence wore an expression of horror, more poignant than any subtle shift in her typical neutrality. Her mouth hung slightly open for a moment before she stepped away from Lekalis, away from the bed, and back towards the table.
It felt crushing.
"You would, despite my warnings, lay with a woman, bring a child into this world, and share your Curse with them-- and then promptly forsake them both? And for what purpose?" Her tone rose, indignant, furious; it reflected the sound of her native tongue. S
he certainly hadn't expected this. Not after all she had said to him...
"There comes a time, Lekalis, where one must learn to think beyond their own needs-- to sacrifice for the good of others. "
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Post by Bloodtrailkiller on Apr 8, 2018 10:18:40 GMT -8
/Lekalis/
His eyes opened as she spoke on, he'd steeled himself for this moment but he still felt his back waver as he watched her step away from him, letting the cloak fall to the ground; beholden to such anger, he still felt better than he had before now. He words washed over him like a cleansing steam, though he wasn't blind to her fury, justified as it was...
"You presume I would forsake them, Florence." He clarified with a frown, his own tone maintaining a somber collectiveness that might have mirrored Florence's own regular tone. Of course, there was the poetic lilt in his flowing pronunciation.
"I've learned my mistakes, Florence; but you still cling to this idea that we're instruments to a single purpose. When you sacrificed all you had for the Village beneath the Mountain, for Luca... What good came of it?" He rhetorically poised as he shook his head and plucked up his cloak, folding it neatly over his arm, he smoothed it there,
"I used to think that... To be a good Lord, a good Lover, one must sacrifice themselves utterly to the other. That a sacrifice was made by giving all, until there is nothing left."
The Ex-Lord took a step forward, tossing the cloak aside and onto the bed with an easy, haphazard motion,
"But sacrifices don't matter lest we're there to appreciate the aftermath. Sacrifices don't matter, unless we are happy for what we've sacrificed." He pressed,
"I've devoted myself utterly to thinking beyond my own needs... It is only in these quiet hours that I've ever thought of my own needs. Where I've planned to rid myself of a curse I held unknowingly for years now, where I first found someone to think of me over themselves." His tone softened, the intensity having snuck into his tone as he spoke on.
"But you still underestimate me, Florence... I refuse to sacrifice you, or Tilly, or the child. Why must we sacrifice all, or nothing? When a man is sick do you look at all possible diseases, or just the first one that fits?"
He shook his head and sighed, crossing his arms loosely over his waist, a fair distance from Florence,
"When a toe is infected, you do not cut off the whole leg. Just because I Love you does not mean I cannot love Tilly, that I cannot care for her and the child... It is like tending to a cut on my right hand, and my left in equal measures."
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Post by Vanitypirate on Apr 8, 2018 11:16:50 GMT -8
"There was no good to come of it. They all died."
Florence's voice was sharp, and color bled into her face. There was a new energy that flowed in her fingertips that she had not felt in years, and if she were not preoccupied with the current engagement, she surely would have marveled at the sensation of an underused systemic nervous response proving its reliability once again.
Admittedly, she could not see the benefit it gave in a civil conversation.
"I was young, bold, and over-confident. I came to ensure the health of one boy, but I instead attempted to serve as a physician, surgeon, apothecary, researcher, educator, friend, guardian and counsel for the entire village on little merit more than ego. It only occurred to me to focus when I began to see the ruin of all those I was specifically swore to protect-- but it was already in motion, and I acted too late to save them from my hubris."
She let out a steaming breath while she whipped off her gloves to free her sweating hands.
"You divided your efforts between your Lordship and your sister, and what were the effects of your labors? You waged a futile war fueled by the blood of countless soldiers, and your sister perished regardless. What if you upheld the lives of your people and maintained your Lordship?"
She stuffed her gloves into her belt and began to roll up her sleeves. Her arms sweltered.
"You are like an unthinking child, spouting words and terms you do not understand and pursuing whatever you like, regardless of the consequences it may hold for yourself or for others. I warned you specifically to avoid coition with others, but you did not listen. And now others will suffer for your actions-- but you still will not learn!"
Despite her heat, she was shivering; her eyes misted, like hot steam meeting a cool window.
"I will persist in serving as your doctor and your friend, but I refuse to be made an instrument of your folly. If you continue to pursue me or anyone else besides your wife, I will alert Tilly immediately."
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